The Eliminator (2004)

 

The Eliminator (2004)- * *

Directed by Ken Barbet

Starring: Bas Rutten, Michael Rooker, Danielle Burgio, and Paul Logan

One moment, Dakota Varley (Rutten) is competing in a rather lengthy boat race. The next, he is kidnapped and spirited off to a remote jungle location. It seems some other people have met the same fate, including Jesse (Logan) and Santha (Burgio). Yet another evil mastermind (why are there so many of those?) named Miles Dawson (Rooker) has set up a "survival game" where the contestants are implanted with tracking chips and the winner supposedly wins ten million dollars. Of course, Varley, and to a lesser extent, Jesse and Santha, don't like this very much. Much like Gilligan and his shipmates, they try to get off the island. But Miles Dawson has a command center, a bunch of rich friends, and some goons, so it won't be easy. Who, in the end, will be THE ELIMINATOR?



You'll be rootin' for Rutten in this time-honored "Most Dangerous Game" tale, if you can look past the utter lack of originality and low production values, that is. Okay, if you've seen The Condemned (2007), Surviving The Game (1994), Deadly Game (1991), The Game (1988), Soldiers of Fortune (2012), The Tournament (2009), Death Ring (1992), or Seized (2020) - not to mention Hard Target (1993) or the original Most Dangerous Game (1932), not to mention all the countless other derivations we don't have the time or space to list here - you might have some idea what to expect with The Eliminator. An alternate title for the film is even Varley's Game. The puzzling part is why the filmmakers behind The Eliminator wanted to run through this sort of storyline one more time, without adding a single new element or bit of insanity that would spice things up.



Adding insult to injury is the pale, washed-out cinematography and needless editing tricks that can't possibly distract viewers enough from the pervasive feeling that you've seen all this before. If that's the purpose of your editing style, you've definitely got a problem on your hands. Because we're now in the early 2000's, unnecessary and facepalm-inducing CGI was evidently deemed needed. There are also "Bugs Bunny"-style sound effects, and even whooshing noises as the camera whips around more than Willow Smith's hair.



However, it's perhaps not all bad - Bas Rutten is likable enough. He looks like a cross between Stabler (i.e. Christopher Meloni) and Randy Couture. He's well-suited to the action scenes, which are mostly of the beat-em-up variety. Paul "Ballistica" Logan is here too as a sort of sidekick. The film mostly vacillates between these jungle scenes with the punch-ups and occasional kills, and Rooker with his upper-class-twit buddies as he gives orders in his command center. In that sense, it's not that different from the Bourne series of films, give or take a few million dollars (but who's counting)? There's also one exploding helicopter for those keeping track at home.



As indicated earlier, The Eliminator is not wacky enough to stand out. It's all played stultifyingly straight. Try as he might, the charm of Bas Rutten isn't enough to overcome that, or the whole low-rent feeling of it all. Of course it's all very stupid, but it's also The Eliminator. I think it's also important to remember that Survivor was still a pretty hot TV show at the time. Maybe someone thought, "Hey, let's make a low-budget actioner that takes the idea of being a survivor literally, and add Bas Rutten and Michael Rooker". Voila, there you have it.


Featuring the end-credits song "Will To Survive" by Ian Springen (at least that's what we think the credit said; they're as washed out and hard to see as everything else) The Eliminator is not what you'd call essential viewing. It may only appeal to die-hard Bas Rutten fans, or fans of the "Most Dangerous Game" cliche.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Extreme Force (2001)

 

Extreme Force (2001)- * * *

Directed by: Michel Qissi

Starring: Hector Echavaria, Michel Quissi, Youssef Qissi, and Nikki Lemke

Marcos DeSantos (Echevarria), Cole (Youssef Qissi) and Bianca (Lemke) are a trio of thieves. But they're not your garden variety smash-and-grab types. They use slick and intelligent methods against high-class targets. After their latest score, Marcos wants out. He's not such a bad guy after all and he decides he's had enough. This doesn't sit well with the malevolent Cole, who is always on to a new score. Cole, being the baddie and all, shoots Marcos. This isn't a spoiler. It's just the beginning.



For some reason, some of the political higher-ups of Mongolia are visiting Orlando, Florida, where our trio of thieves are based. After Marcos gets shot, he is spirited away to the secret beachside base of said Mongolians. Part of his recuperation involves re-training everything he knows with the taciturn Martial Arts master Kong Li (Michel Qissi). He has to convalesce in much the same way Radical Jack once did. R-Jack didn't have Kong Li, but you get the idea. Once at odds, now partners, even Kong Li has to succumb to Marcos's winning charm.



What follows is a sort of Original Odd Couple revenge mission as Kong and Marcos try to find Cole to get justice (but not Cole Justice). Will our two heroes employ some classic EXTREME FORCE against the baddies?



It's called EXTREME FORCE. Of COURSE we're going to watch and review it! The only question is why it took so long to get here. Well, good things take time. Yes, the budget is quite low and the cinematography isn't exactly Kubrick-level. Just about everyone in the cast sounds post-dubbed, which gives an otherworldly feel to the proceedings. Especially with all the accents. But you're not watching Extreme Force for the technical whys and wherefores. If you're going to nitpick that sort of stuff, best avoid it altogether. But if you want to have some fun as Hector Echevarria and Tong Po...sorry, Kong Li, get involved in one silly beat-em-up fight after another, you may have a winner on your hands here.



There are not one, but two barfights. Clearly, with Qissi as director and co-writer, not to mention a plot that isn't the most intricate on God's green earth, special time and attention is paid to the fight scenes, which paid off. They're very fun to watch. A special highlight comes when Marcos and Kong are riding horseback in the countryside and they come across some bumpkins who want to steal their pants. That's right, I said pants thieves. You gotta watch out for 'em. Marcos, Cole and Bianca want diamonds and jewels, these dudes want pants. Circle of life. Hakuna Matata. Anyway, it doesn't go well for the bumpkins.


There are some pacing issues: after a fast-paced and fairly intricate fight scene, it takes seemingly double that amount of time just for Marcos to leave the building. There are other examples, but no matter. Hector Echevarria seems like his usual happy self throughout - he was in Los Bravos the same year; no wonder he was so happy. At one point he gets in the back of a limo and the driver is blasting this Latin music and he does a sort of sitting-down Merengue. You can't help but love it.


Then Marcos/Hector is in an elevator with two elderly women. The elevator stops and he gets out and walks away. The two oldsters then mention how he should be in Chippendales and say, "Look at THAT!", like Hector is the biggest hunk on earth. It's scenes like the above-mentioned that make Extreme Force Extreme Force. Even the end credits are Extreme - they blast in and out in a way that we've never seen before, but seems entirely appropriate to what we just watched.

If you liked Los Bravos, you should definitely check out Extreme Force. If you haven't seen that, and have no idea what we're talking about, see both anyway. Ignore the typical low-budget pitfalls and just have some fun.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty